Frustrated...

I am frustrated! I know I need to get over it, but I just wanted a relaxing weekend...only I feel that I have gotten moments of peace.

My husband--he is gone on a business trip. Fine, that is great! I want a separation and this was going to give me sometime to relax and enjoy Buddy. NOOOO, he just keeps calling and wants to be all sweet and mushy. If you knew my husband at all you would understand why this is not helpful. Being nice overnight doesn't make anything better.

I wanted to be able to use this time to figure out what is the next step. I want him to move out of the house while we try to work on our relationship. I was hoping to find a marriage counselor that we could go to. With my husband living at home I know all it would do would suffocate me more. I think his best chance is to give me space, which obviously he doesn't understand. Maybe I am wrong, but I want to be able to look at Buddy when he is 20 and know deep within my heart that I did EVERYTHING I could to save my marriage. But in reality I am done.

Lastly, I am frustrated with Buddy. I know he is only 2 1/2 years old but he is not listening (even more than usual). With my lack of sleep, mixed emotions, and frustration towards my husband...it is just making me even more agitated. Last night he was so tired that he cried for about an hour because nothing was making him happy. I feel for him!