The Beginning...

I am new to the blog world and am looking forward to this journey. Reading other blogs have helped me to see that writing a blog is going to be very therapeutic for me. However, I don't know how or where to start, so here goes nothing...

I am having a difficult time in my life right now and needed a place where I could vent my honest and RAW EMOTIONS about MY LIFE. I am a 31 year old who is unhappy in her marriage, loves her son, and is looking forward to the future no matter what it brings...I have HOPE!!

Let me start with the best thing in my life...my son Buddy. He is an out going almost 3 year old who loves everything sports. I love him more than anything...even when he is whining!! As a mother I couldn't be prouder. I love waking up every morning to a new day with him.

The damper in this story is my marriage of almost 6 years. For the last year, I have been unhappy. Now normally if something in my life is wrong, I take it upon myself to try to fix it. I am a fixer. I don't like confrontation or hurting anyone's feelings so I keep it all to myself. Therefore, this is why it has taken me a year (more if I am really honest) to be able to tell my husband that I am UNHAPPY. To even say that I am unhappy aloud is a huge step for me. I am beyond tired of the fighting, yelling, screaming, hurtful words, pretending, etc. I don't feel that we have respect for each other or have anything in common anymore (besides our son). Two days ago, I told him I wanted a separation. It was a complete shock to his system and of course he started to manipulate the situation. And now I think he is living in la la land. I am not trying to be the home-wrecker everyone will make me out to be. I am trying to make ME happier. I feel with all of my being that no child should be raised in an unhappy home. If I am a happier and confident person, I know that I will be a better mother to Buddy.

This blog will be the place where I can share my feelings, thoughts, and RAW EMOTIONS of everything going on in my life. Sometimes you will like what I have to say, other times not. Hell you may not like the language I might be using because I promise that there will be words such as FUCK, ASS, SHIT, etc. or even the topic I will be writing about. Take it for what it is worth because these are still my RAW EMOTIONS and I own them.