Tomorrow...

Tomorrow is the big day. My husband will be moving out and we will officially be separated. My marriage of almost six years will be over (to an extent). Wow, when you get married you never think this could happen but now...

It is real. But as my wise sister told me, "You have to be at peace with your decision and trust that God has a plan." (I think I quoted her correctly...she said much more today but those words really stuck out.) Like I said in a previous post, my sister is amazing. I sometimes feel that she is the older sister giving all this fabulous advice.

I am just ready for tomorrow to be here. I am tired of having the same conversation or lack of conversation over and over. All he talks about is what he is going to take with him when he leaves. TAKE IT ALL I DON'T GIVE A SHIT!!!

I can sit and listen to the same shit but what I didn't appreciate tonight was the fact that he didn't even respect that Buddy was sitting right with us. I know that I sometimes am not as careful as I should be, I'll admit that. But when we are eating dinner you shouldn't make the following statements...

When I move out...

I hope I can find another place to live...

What? Why are you looking at me like that? You think he isn't going to know something is wrong when I'm not home this week or on the weekend?

REALLY??? Why are you being an ASS??? I know Buddy's world is going to be rocked!! I get that. I also get that you don't understand why I feel the way I do. And I know that whomever you talk to will get your fucked up version of things. Fine. I'll be the bad guy, it's for the best. I know that in my heart.

However, I am more concerned about Buddy than you fucking give me credit for!! I don't think it is appropriate to talk about him or our separation as if he isn't sitting at the same table as us!!!!

I don't have the right answer. How are you supposed to tell an almost 3 year old that his dad doesn't live in his house anymore????