I Cried Today...

Today was really difficult and I don't know how to put it into words. Sorry if this post is a jumbled mess!

Basically, I was blindsided. Until today I felt in control and happy to be moving forward and with a snap of my husband's fingers those feelings were lost. Here is how it went...

We had a busy day planned. My husband came over early in the morning to take Buddy and I to Buddy's swim lessons. Then we had already made plans to babysit our friends kids for a couple of hours before he moved out. AND since I hadn't told her yet that he moved we played along for the day for the kids. I didn't feel it was my place to share anything with their kids about our lives. Also, if he left before they did Buddy was going to say something.

BTW, we told Buddy earlier in the week that his daddy had a new house. He took the news like I would assume any two year old...he didn't understand. But at least he has been REALLY good about it.

Anyways, my husband spent too much time with me today. This is partially my fault but he wanted to watch a couple of TV shows and see Buddy. What got me pissed off was the discussion about money.

Money is obviously never a good topic of conversation, especially when you are separated. But fuck he is ridiculous!!!

He made all kinds of comments, accusations, and brought the topic of my parents in the conversation!!

By the time he left I was going to be in tears...I thought if I just talked to my BFF I would be fine before going to dinner at my parent's house.

I was wrong. I took one look at my dad and lost it. The tears just started coming...

Not only were my parents home but my sister was there too! As usual, they were absolutely wonderful and supportive!!! I know that with their love and support Buddy and I will make it through this.

I just hate how he can make me feel so bad about myself. Fuck him!!! And the worst part of everything is tomorrow I have to go to a party to watch the Super Bowl and he will be there.

I can't let anyone know any of my emotions on the subject tomorrow! I am going to be in the best mood possible if not for myself or Buddy but for my sister and her family! I will NOT ruin the relationships I have with others because he is a dick.

I also need to think of another way to refer to him on the blog, "my husband," just isn't working for me at all!!! Any suggestions?